Wow little did I realize how long it has been since I have updated all my fans on what has been going on and for that I apologize. I know it is hard to be inspired if I neglect you and it is my goal to inspire everyone to be more active in some way. In many ways I think my training reflects my posting and I have been very lazy on both fronts. I am still training, but I have to admit I have had a bad year following my ultra-marathon. Lets recap how I got to this sad state shall we.
First, I once read a quote stating that I was not ready for my next marathon until I could forget about my last marathon, I now know what is meant by that...I think. I think it means that if I am still focused on the marathon and I have not taken it upon myself to heal and repair my body and my thinking then I am not ready for another one yet. I have to admit it did a number on my body and I did give my self about a month to heal and I came along fine, but it is the mental part I struggled with. I was still there and I think in many ways I still am, it was so much fun and I want to do it again. Heck I still think about it so I may not be ready, but I am going to have to be ready I have one coming forward in November.
Second, the weather was horrible and I don't mean just hot (I know that is going to happen), but there were these wildfires burning over a hundred miles a way and there were days were the ash was falling from the sky like snow. That is not a condition by which a person can run and I know - I tried. My lungs ached from the effort. It took months for them to go out and truly it put me behind to the point that I probably will never catch my schedule back up no matter how much effort I put into it.
Third, I have not been able to find the balance that I so desperately need. I have not been committed to running because I have been trying to make time for other things in my life and I have been totally slack about being committed. I want to run, I like to run, I really think I need to run, and when my life is not in harmony then I don't run and when I don't run - I just really don't like being around myself. So, if nothing else I have to be balanced and committed at the same time.
Fourth, I have not been good to myself (maybe this should be under my third point). I have not been sleeping and eating correctly and I have been allowing a lot of stress to invade into my life in a way that has drained all my energies. Work has changed and my family and future is changing and I have simply been feeling the drain. I used to sleep and eat better and I have begun to suck back into the bad habit of being up too late and eating to feel better. Ugh that paragraph alone is a shining example of blah!
Fifth, I lastly think that what has also put me here is my lack of motivation and poor time management. I think these go hand in hand as I have not been truly motivated to do my running and there for I have created excuses to not run like I should have. I have done a marathon and then I ran an ultra distance and I have been struggling to find a way to stay motivated. I thought by taking on a double marathon would help, it did not. I thought that taking on the Goofy Challenge would help and it did not. I finally I had to face the fact that my motivation had to be as it has needed to be all along an internal motivation that is mine and I can not longer allow myself to rely on the outside world to make me go forward.
I have to stop here and leave with this thought: Taking care of self allows me to take care of the others around me and for now my favorite form of self care is running and I think it is time I get to running.
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